A Death of Memory, Field Well
“Maybe once in two or three years, somebody disappears all of a sudden, and they just can’t find him. So then the people around here say, ‘Oh, he fell in the field well.’”[1] In the novel, Norwegian wood, written by Haruki Murakami, Naoko, Kizuki’s girlfriend, describes ‘Field Well’ during a conversation between her and Watanabe Toru, a main character. Naoko seems to know that in our lives, there is always a field well and we just do not know when and where we maybe fall in there. The field well is simply a place to reach water, but in this novel, an author, Haruki Murakami, use the field well as a symbol of death of memory.
The field well is placed near the end of the field and when the forest is started. Between two areas, there is no fence or rock that marks where is the field well. Naoko says the field well like “A dark opening in the earth a yard across, hidden by the meadow grass”[2] when she describes the image of the field well to Toru. We do not know how and when Naoko start to think about the field well, but in her mind, there is always the field well and after this conversation, Toru gets a same image when he recalls a field memory and about Naoko.
Naoko is a special girl in Toru’s life. She is not just a friend. She is more like a family to him. Toru really cares her. It is because of a guilty of his best friend’s, Kizuki, death. Perhaps, it is because he is the last person who stays with Kizuki, Naoko’s boyfriend. Naoko and Kizuki used to spend time together and there is one more person, Toru. He is not in their relationship. He is simply Kizuki’s friend. However, after several dates together, Toru becomes one part of their relationship. So, Naoko thinks a double date will be fun and starts to search a girl for Toru. However, making a girlfriend for Toru is not easy and eventually,
three of them hang out together. Toru is not a funny and talkative person who can make a good mood for girls. Kizuki is a guy who leads a conversation. When Kizuki goes somewhere, there is no conversation to talk about. Toru tries to talk a little bit, but it does not go so far. Rather talking each other, they stay together and wait Kizuki. That is the relationship between Toru and Naoko. If Kizuki would not kill himself, there will be no progress between them. Kizuki’s death becomes a turning point to their lives. We do not know the turning point affects their lives in a positive or negative way. A one thing that is sure is because of his death, they become closer. Naoko and Toru start to think about each other differently and it makes them stick together. Even after they go to the college, Toru still keep in touch with her and take care of her in his way.They used to walk without talking and destination or have a lunch. That is their own way to communicate each other. After Kizuki’s death, Toru and Naoko leave a town. It is for avoiding or forgetting a past, their friend’s death, but by meeting each other, they cannot get rid of the past. For Toru, Naoko is a connection for the past and same for her too. Their relationship is kind of tragedy, but they cannot get rid of their relationship. For him, Naoko is a victim who damaged from the past. She is the one who need his help. Only Toru can see how deeply Naoko is hurt. Even Naoko’s family does not understand her entirely and start to think she is a patient. They do not see how she starts to break, losing her mind and isolating from the society. Only Toru tries to reach her mind.
I think the field well is already existed in her mind from the beginning. Maybe, everybody has the field well in their mind. They just do not know. Only Naoko knows that there is the field well and she is afraid to fall in there suddenly. She is afraid to be forgotten from others. And then Toru gives his words and says “All you have to do is stay with me like this all the time.”[3] Because of this conversation, Naoko gets a relief, but as time goes on, the field well in her mind becomes bigger and bigger. Whenever Toru tries to drag her into a new world, the society, she goes the past. Naoko cannot get rid of or forget the past. She cannot start her new life. She still has a dark hole, the field well, in her mind and keeps hiding and hiding. Eventually, no one can find how Naoko’s field well is getting deeper and darker. Even Toru cannot get this because he is also damaged from the past. He is trying to move forward and it is not easy to him too. Finally, when Naoko becomes twenty, Toru lose the Naoko. Whenever he recalls the memory, he says:
I felt as if the only thing that made sense, whether for Naoko or for me, was to keep going back and forth between eighteen and nineteen. After eighteen would come nineteen, and after nineteen, eighteen. Of course, But she turned twenty. And in the fall, I would do the same. Only the dead stay seventeen forever.[4]
For Naoko, falling in the field well step by step will be the hardest part in her life because nobody will understand her situation. She is naturally a human being in the beginning of the novel. She has lots of friends like other normal girls and enjoys her life, but, after Kizuki’s death, she becomes the patient. Around her, there are several people who maybe drag her into the society. However, Naoko’s field well is too deep and isolated. She gives up a chance to be remembered to people, Toru and others. She chooses a solid, deep and endless hole, suicide. In the novel, death is not a simple term giving up their lives. For other people, death gives a starting point forgetting dead people. Other people who left maybe remember the dead people, but eventually they will forget them. They will forget memories about the dead people and this is a part that Naoko is afraid when she talks about the field well. By removing the past, memory, the other people including Toru will forget her and that is memory of death.
However, fortunately, Toru get a chance to change his life. Midori is a one who makes his life differently. She is a history classmate at t he college and she helps Toru to be one part of the society. Of course, there are several people who affect his life too, but she has a positive effect on his life. Unlike Naoko, she is a social person. However, inside of her life is also harmed and damaged as much as Naoko or more.
Compare with Naoko’s life, Midori has more family history. Her mother died because of brain tumor. Her family spends lots of money taking care of mother. After mother’s death, Midori’s father does not take care of her and her sister. He even blames two daughters. Midori’s father is a weak person to handle the wife’s death and later, he also has a same disease, a brain tumor, and died. When we look at the family background, Midori has more histories than Naoko. If the field well is made depend on the death, Midori will already fall in the field well. However, she is still alive. When we compare the high school life, Naoko is a lucky girl. Midori’s parents push her to go to the private and rich school. Until she goes to the college, she has to surround by rich girls. During the high school years, Midori is a stranger in the society and she never mingles with them. The Rich girls are nice, but they are not same people like Midori. They do not understand Midori. In the high school society, she is isolated without a choice. At home, she does the housework, cooking and taking care of her father. Midori is not willing to do these works, but the situation makes her to do.
Midori is also twisted and damaged from the past, but she is a strong girl who can find a way to survive. If Naoko is a person who make a monotone world, Midori is an opposite person who shows the real world. For Toru, it will be better to hang out with Midori. While Toru is with her, he can be adapted in the society. Midori is a connection from the monotone world to the reality. Whenever Toru lose a direction or goes back to the past, he calls Midori, because she is the only one person who escaped falling in the field well. This is one of the conversations that Toru and Midori have in the novel.
“I’m glad I ran into you,” I said. “I think I’m a little more adapted to the world now.”
Midori stopped short and peered at me. “It’s true,” she said. “Your eyes are much more in focus than they were. See? Hanging out with me does you good.”
“No doubt about it,” I said.[5]
In the novel, Naoko is not only person who has the field well. In the society, everybody has their own field well. They just do not know where the field well is in their mind. Our mind is like a Norwegian wood. Some parts are flat like a field and some areas are covered with leaves. Maybe, a cliff is here or a narrow and deep hole exists somewhere. We do not know what and when we see these. When someone is fall in the deep hole, we will not know who and when someone fall in there. If something is behind from our sight, we will not know because we see what we can see. Even we know what is happened, we will naturally forget. That is a human being. And the field well is a perfect place where someone maybe falls in and other people will not notice because it happens suddenly. The other people will start to forget about them who fall in the field well. The memory about them will be forgotten. Like they do not exist before, the other people will live their lives.
In the novel, the main character, Toru, says that “Even so, my memory has grown increasingly distant, and I have already forgotten any number of things. Writing from memory like this, I often feel a pang of dread.”[6]
Norwegian Wood_Final Essay
Mijin Park / July 2,2010
Jamerry Kim
